One of the hardest things about living in the north is the waiting – waiting for work supplies to arrive that you need to do your job, waiting for the weekly food shipment to arrive, waiting it to finally warm up a little after 9 months of snow, waiting for a text message back from your lover over the slow choppy internet. Right now I wait for news of my lover, will he be returning here? Or just like that, is this just the end?
There is a chance he might come back but neither of us really knows at this point if he will. And if he doesn’t? A part of me thinks I should let it go, how can we make it work with the distance, the unpredictability of our jobs, our lives? And then there is the part of me that wants to grab the next 2000$ flight out of here and go to him, visit his hometown, take a chance, get to know him in his natural environment, in a place where we can actually go on dates and do things, stay up late and sleep in, and just see where it goes, no pressure, no expectations but just to give it a proper chance to see what it could be. And also to know, to know whether there could be more than this or not, rather than being up here just waiting.
I’m tired of waiting… and I wonder what would happen if we all spent less time waiting in our lives and just went for it…even though maybe it feels a little too soon, maybe before we are ready … took the wild chance, went on the adventure, put ourselves out there, made the big declaration, got on the flight, did the wild crazy thing? What might happen? Maybe those are the big moments in life that might change everything… when we go for it instead of waiting.